Christmas Eve at the Burke House

'Tis Christmas Eve in the Burke House
But the sun is in the sky
There's no snow on the ground in Blackpool
Instead the brightness is burning the eye

There's a sledge on the roof with some reindeer
And a fat old fella in tears
He says his sledge won't run without white stuff
And at this rate it will take him 2 years

To take all his pressies round Blackpool
And even though he says it's no race
He's America and Canada and India to do
He really can't get stuck in this place!

We've fed and we've watered his reindeer
Though with whisky they like to be fed
And there's one right up front that's been scoffing
'Cos his nose is glowing all red!

Now all the neighbours are helping
Though it's posed us a real good teaser
But we've thought of a way to help poor old Santa
And we're emptying out all our freezers

There's snow on the inside and we're collecting
And we're filling up a dirty great bucket
So Santa can scatter it before the sledge as he goes
So he won't have to leave his sledge and truck it!

He thinks it'll work and the reindeer are eager
So don't worry kiddies, and don't get all forlorn
But as he soared off over the downspout
A reindeer dropped something on our lawn...

At first we thought it was a present
But then it assaulted our noses
But just like old Santa he knew what we needed
Now next year we'll have splendid roses!