Hot Days, Hot Ward. June 2025

The last few entries in this blog will make more sense if you have gone through them in order from the post headed Cancer! which was uploaded on 18 November 2025.

We have now reached Sunday 8 June 2025, which finds yours truly in hospital suffering from a very painful set of leg ulcers on both legs. In the bed next to me is "The Shouter", a chap with dementia who interprets every little touch as the most painful thing and shouts and tries to push the nurses out of the way whenever they do anything such as prick a finger for a blood sugar test or attempt to give him a wash. "DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!!!"

Last night he was giving himself - and consequently the rest of us in the ward - a concert. I didn't recognise any of the songs but it didn't matter because at the end of each song he applauded himself... Mostly the songs were quietish but choruses sometimes reached a bone shattering roar. It was a little like excerpts from Puccini as played by ZZ Top...

In the meantime I grabbed a shot of each leg as they were redressed - left then right leg. Scroll quickly if squeamish...

Monday 9 June 2025. A strange day in some ways. The night before started out with the Shouter trying once more to puĺĺ his catheter out even after the considerable pain and blood loss the òther night.

After that it went quiet and I zonked until woken at 5.30 by a nurse wanting me to wee because I hadn't had one for a while... so I peed so much I started to wonder how much the bottles held and how could I swap to another one without an accident...

Then I've dozed all the day, interspersed with breakfast, blood pressure and pulse rate measured, lunch, a visit from daughter Gill with Miss Franny, a visit from the doc to discuss the bleeding and what they might do about it. Apparently it's quite rare. Well I do like to set a challenge...

Have kept falling asleep whilst writing this so will go and set someone's mind at rest about my wee capability. I can hear a nurse at the other end of the room asking somebody why are they taking their trousers off. It's just that sort of day...

Tuesday 10 June. 5.38am. We lost one of our number during the night. In a ward of 8 with me in a corner bed there are only 3 others I could easily communicate with. Next to me is the Shouter so that cuts the number to two and it was one of that number that passed in the early hours.

Miss Franny used to buy him a newspaper every day on her way in as asking the nurses was dependent on them finding time in their busy day. Also when he had asked one nurse to buy him one of the UK's more serious newspapers he was asked "What do you want if they don't have one? The Sun?" At that we locked eyes and he spread his arms in a cross between amazement and amusement. We were friends after that.

He used to struggle for breath and yesterday had been particularly hard for him, but he had a few minutes of restful breathing before he slipped away. Something woke me around 3:30am and one of the nurses was pulling the curtains around his bed. Then someone who I took for a priest came and stayed for a while. Sleep easy now, my friend.

The rest of the ward starts to function each day at this time of morning. One of the nurses has been round to check blood sugar counts. This involves a quick stab in the end of a finger, just enough to cause a tiny drop of blood to appear. The Shouter screams the place down on this attack and today he, aged 93, shouted threateningly "I'll tell my Mum!"

Family Memories - Personal Index

Summer in Hospital, 2025

5 June 2025. Woke up last night with what sounded like furniture falling over in the adjoining ward. Then a lot of shouting. At first I thought someone had either fallen out of bed or had knocked something over but then someone stormed down the corridor and our night nurses ran to the door of our ward shouting, "Don't let him in here!"

I was told later that a patient had gone berserk and had flung one of those over-the-bed tables, hitting another patient. Whilst security and male nurses had tried to restrain him, he was military trained and it got a bit dicey for a while.

So I spent much of this morning asleep and spent the afternoon doing this. After tea my legs were redressed. The change is amazing. Yes I've lost a lot of flesh - veins standing out but far fewer wounds. Unfortunately one on each leg keeps pain levels up. Meanwhile Miss Franny collected my new glasses and brought them in.

6 June 2025. Last night's tale of mayhem... Just after lights out the same chap in the next ward kicked off. Shouting, banging, security racing up the corridor. Then after it had quietened down again the chap in the next bed ripped out his catheter at 4.30. Took them until 6.00 to deal with it, blood everywhere and of course this is the chap that shouts a lot if touched... so an hour and half of shouting and screaming and not letting the nurses help him.

By the time he went quiet they were doing the morning pill run so that was that. We were all up having to listen to The Swearer telling the nursing staff to f... off. And they tell me he knows what he is doing, he doesn't have any dementia. Just a horrible horrible man.

The Physio team and someone from the Delicate Tissue Team came in the afternoon to try getting me out of bed again. I lasted longer sitting on the side of the bed this time but then as in previous tries the pain hit and my legs just started bleeding.

The back of my calves look like one of those maps of the arterial and veinous systems that you might see on the wall in a doctor's consulting room. The flesh has withered so much the veins stand proud. They said they would come up with a plan to help the tissue of my legs to grow back but agreed that until that happened I would have to stay in hospital. I asked how long this would take. "One year give or take a month or two... So shock hit immediately. The nurses who were with her both stared at her in shock, never mind me. It took me a while to even process that. I am determined to beat this thing but being told that out of the blue and then wondering how to tell family etc was a blow.

Some hours later came a bit of light relief. I had had my left leg redressed. Half an hour later my lovely staff nurse from the Phillipines came round searching for a lost key. Lifting my bedcovers at the feet end she stared diligently between my legs. "Searching for treasure?" I asked. And she found it!

8 June 2025. Ok, so after all the trauma I caused yesterday - 71 messages of support came at me on Facebook, people are wonderful - it seems as though she may have meant something else. Though the two physios and a couple of nurses also thought exactly the same as I did. We now think she meant that's how long it will take the ulcers to heal. From when they started which was over a few weeks from last August. So that is a much less stressful thing to contemplate.

Having seen them and comparing the pain over the past few days that would seem to be a realistic target and not one that would require a full year in hospital. It's driving me daft already and it's been just about one month.

The main problem now is to regain lost flesh on the back of my calves. Veins etc standing out and rupturing if lower legs go vertical, ruling out standing, or sitting as yet. Not to mention the pain that goes through the roof. And I'm no wimp. The nurse redressing them yesterday said she couldn't understand how I bore her cleaning and placing fresh dressings without any shouting or screaming.

So relief on the possible length of stay. It may still be measured in months but that's better than being told a year and seeing the same shock on the faces of everyone else. I had accepted it as having no real choice anyway. I'll beat this no matter how long it takes, with the support of family and all my awesomely wonderful army of friends on Facebook. You matter and you do without fail raise my spirits. So thank you and sorry for yesterday's shock.

Family Memories : Personal Index

My Time in Hospital Reaches June 2025

Saturday, 31 May 2025. Having moved back into the ward from my nice individual side room yesterday, I am forced to eat someone else's choice of food for the day. By which I mean lunch and the evening meal. The food is really good when it's something that you like, but let's just say that whoever was in this bed yesterday, their taste either didn't match mine or they had a really evil sense of humour...

After the pain and sight of the pool of blood yesterday when I tried to stand, I was quite apprehensive of what might follow. But the doctors left me alone for the day.

Miss Franny came to visit - a steady stream of good friends, family and buses bring her each day and we are very grateful when someone volunteers to pick her up and bring her. Also to those who come to visit me when she can't come - it does break the day up and it's good seeing people many of whom have been good friends for decades.

Fran brought me my A5 sketchbook to fill the time and I did this - my first sketch using a ballpoint pen and the first to come from a mix of memory and imagination. More the latter if I'm honest, the memory cocked up some of the more important things... Anyway it was inspired shall we say, by houses seen on the Italian Riviera.

Monday, 2 June 2025. Today marks the start of my fourth week in hospital. My legs are better than they were, but just as painful due to exposed wounds following the bleeding the other day. The right leg in particular looks a bit like a joint of raw meat. It's not pleasant. Now they have to get the delicate tissue toughened up enough to let me stand and walk about. Photos of my legs - scroll past all the v pointers to get past quick if you are squeamish...

V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V

Right leg above. Left leg below, the orange is surgical antiseptic.

V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V

One of the household staff saw my sketch the other day and asked if I had any of Italy's Lake Como. I hadn't... but now I have! It turned out she was getting married and they had booked their honeymoon at Lake Como. She was really taken with the sketch, so I ripped the page carefully out of the sketchpad and gave it to her.

More visitors today. Most of my visitors, it has to be said, are female. It's nothing I can help... One of the young nurses though is convinced I've had a long string of conquests and each new face adds much to her amusement. She grins behind their backs and raises a quizzical and what she obviously thinks is a knowing eyebrow at me at every new face! All I can say is I'd have been an old man far earlier...

Tuesday 3 June 2025. This morning the doc came to say they were going to transfer me to a respite home pending Physiotherapists coming to see me. A few alarm bells started to ring as I haven't stood since the bleeding event a few days ago. Physios came this afternoon after I had been dosed with morphine and I got to sit on the edge of the bed. It took longer but the pain hit and blood blossomed on my bandages even before my feet touched the floor and I had to get back in bed on the verge of shouting and screaming at the level of pain. So I am not going anywhere for now. To be continued...

Family Memories: Personal Index

Leg Ulcer News From The Hospital

Friday 30 May 2025. The stay in a nice quiet side room was short lived. I am back on the ward again but in a different bay and in a corner next to the wall. From the private room I could hear someone every night shouting the place down sounding as though he were in great pain. It turns out he does this at the slightest touch, having a wash or having his pyjamas changed. The poor chap has dementia, so it's not his fault.

But now I find he's in the bed next to mine and now getting any sleep is an issue. This morning I was told they were going to get me out of bed this afternoon and into the bedside chair - a huge affair that looks like I'd need a ladder to get into it.

Anyway I didn't get as far as testing that particular scare... I swung my legs over the side of the bed and the pain started to build quickly as gravity pulled blood into weakened arteries and veins. As my feet touched the floor I was gasping with pain and then heard a nurse match my gasp and when I looked down there was already a pool of blood two feet in diameter, leaking from both legs and spreading quickly. I've never been bundled back into a bed so quickly in all my life.

Afterwards I had a visit from one of the doctors who regularly gathered around the head consultant on his daily rounds. He said something about "that must have been a very scary experience for you," and then went on to say that their top "leg man" would come to see me.

I'm not totally sure if my memory is playing tricks on me now. This really happened but I'm not sure if it was on this day or later after another "event" once I'd been moved to a respite ward in Clifton Hospital a week or so later.

The leg man turned up with a very broad Glasgow accent. He looked at the left leg. "Aye that's quite nasty!" he said, then uncovered the right leg. "And that's *verra* nasty!"

"Have you ever had a mouth ulcer on your gum or inside your cheek?" he asked. "Well that," he nodded at the left leg, "is a hundred times worse. And that..." a nod at the right leg, "...is a thousand times worse!"

I'm not coming home just yet...

Family Memories: Personal

Hospitalised

4 April 2025. I'm now on twice weekly visits to the District Nurses. Unfortunately the right leg has decided that it's fed up as being described as the better leg and has burst out in sores mostly on the right side of the lower leg. It's getting almost impossible to sleep in bed and I've now moved a desk typists' chair into the bedroom with legs supported on a pile of pillows. Even so there are nights when I get no sleep at all and the best I can hope for is three hours or so.

The nurses have suggested I need some nerve pain pills and so I am now on both Gabapentin for nerve pain and the middle strength of Codeine backed up by Paracetamol for any other pains that me think I'm ripe for a bit of suffering. Because I'm getting so little sleep at night I am inclined to just fall asleep, chin on chest at my desk, or whilst watching TV or at any time at all really...

22 April 2025. From a Facebook posting: District Nurses in an hour or so but have run out of pain meds again over Easter. They give me 12.5 days worth but won't action repeat requests for 13 days due to "rules". Given that it can then be a couple of days before a request is actioned to the chemist and the chemist is closed on Saturdays (and it's Easter so make that Friday to Monday)... So have been on over the counter meds for a few days and it's not cutting it. I asked why they had rules that they knew would leave a gap in supply and was told - I kid you not - "We hope you won't need to take them all..."

Wednesday 14 May 2025. Disaster strikes. The exhaustion over the past few weeks has been almost crippling. I can't concentrate on anything, can't go out and last Saturday night I had a fall going upstairs to bed. I'm not really sure what happened. I just registered that my hand was slipping on the bannister and then next instant woke with the sensation of falling, leaned forward just in time for my chest to crash into the corner of a step in front of me. I don't know whether I blacked out or simply went to sleep whilst climbing up the stairs but anyway once I came to properly and was able to decide that although the chest hurt I hadn't broken any ribs, I tried to stand and couldn't.

There was just no strength in my legs. I had to shuffle down to the bottom of the staircase on my front until I was lying at the foot of the stairs. I still couldn't stand up even with Fran trying to support me under my arm. Our dining chairs have backs with horizontal slats of wood like a ladder. I asked her to bring one and tried to climb up it with my hands, but I just couldn't move my legs at all. I managed to shuffle like a worm into the living room and sat on the floor with my back against the sofa. We discussed whether to call an ambulance but at this time they were queued outside the hospital,even those with blue emergency lights flashing, for up to eight hours before patients were assessed.

Anyway it was Monday morning when I got an ambulance and more or less the first thing I was treated to in hospital was the sight of a "patient" being rugby tackled to the ground by a policeman after trying to escape the police during being seen to by a doctor... By the time they had assessed me, either spinal compression or a broken hip were suspected so I ended up on a ward with no idea how long I'd be there.

Thursday 15 May 2025. My Facebook post to friends telling them where I was generated such a rush of warmth and concern and love in 64 responses that I was quite humbled. Yes, I know - hard to believe, but it's true - even I can be humble when I need to! I hadn't been allowed out of bed yet (and don't yet think it possible) pending x-rays and scans of my back and legs...

Friday 23 May 2025. Still here in hospital. Bloody fed up. I've picked up an infection from somewhere so I have been moved into a side room all on my own but still allowed visitors thank God. I seem to have achieved rock god status amongst the staff here due to them asking a routine "What did you used to do?" and then being shown photos and videos on my phone... Legs still a mess of pain. The state of my left leg is shown below... Skip quickly down if you're squeamish...

v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v

v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v

Just before I was moved into this side room one night it was getting towards lights out and a chap from the other end of the ward, who you would just take for the most inoffensive compliant patient just walked up the ward towards the double doors at the end of the ward next to my bed. As he reached for the door I called out in concern, "[NAME] that's the Ladies' Ward..."

But I had mistaken the target of his outstretched arm.

He put both thumbs on the fire alarm glass and deliberately pushed hard, breaking the glass. Then he turned to go back to bed as though it was the most natural thing to do. The ward was suddenly filled with nurses, orderlies and doctors ready to push beds to safety, but were quickly told what had happened and the culprit was whisked away down the corridor being scolded. The look on his face though showed he either just didn't care or didn't undertand what he had done.

The rest of us though had a troubled night as patients with dementia were very frightened by what had happened and were calling for family who were not there or were trying to get up to run for safety and who were in danger of falling.

Thursday 29 May 2025. I am still in the side room. My legs seem to be slowly improving after lots of antibiotics and some awful pain. I have not yet been able to stand or get out of bed and being moved to go for scans etc involved a lot of pain from my back as they move me from bed to a trolley and then from trolley to the bed of a scanner.

I have increased my total count of MRI scans to around 18 or 19, spine, neck, hips, head, brain... I think they found one... Have been told I should be in here another week, so there's light at the end of the tunnel. (Not much light as it turned out - they simply meant another week in the side room...)

Later on the same day... Blooming typical... just been put on a bedpan and fire alarm goes off....

Family Memories: Personal Index

March 2025, Leg Ulcers Carry On, the Car and Wardrobes Don't

28 February 2025. My new computer has landed on my desk. Yikes Windows 11 seems to feel the need to push A.I. at me all the time whilst ensuring that lots of what I already had in the way of software will now refuse to work. I've managed to get my sound software back up and running at the expense of having to download a new version - but at least it allowed me to download it.

My photo-editing software now has to be run online and is totally different. A.S. (Artificial Stupidity) has been built in to assume that I want to start every session based on a template, most of which seem to be designed to appeal to 14 year olds who might not have the knowledge to decide for themselves what they want to do and can be easily diverted by flashing lights and bright colours. I just want to start with my own photograph and maybe adjust the perspective to avoid leaning buildings etc.

Resize doesn't allow that. Stretch only seems to keep the same proportions but adds bars of colour at either side or top and bottom... "Do you want A.I. to help? Would you like a template to make a poster?"... A.I. can't even equate "Ltd" with "Limited" for crying out loud...

6 March 2025. Agony day after the District Nurses yesterday. My right leg is now in a compression stocking over the dressing rather than bandages, which is good except that the slightest pressure on the now much thinner covering is excruciating. Pressure such as that caused by walking, resting, standing with the leg held out in mid air etc... (I don't do the latter a lot...)

The left leg, which was first and always the worst, looks miles better, but again doesn't necessarily feel like it. But a good sign for the future I hope. Note to anyone waiting for me to send CDs or DVDs - the new computer doesn't have a disk drive... should be sorted soon! It was sorted by setting up the old computer in the conservatory, hooked up to the TV as I didn't buy a new screen for the new PC. I've disabled all access to the Internet on the old machine so that any nasties can't get to it and Windows 10 won't be being updated anyway...

20 March 2025. Well today me and the memsahib clock up 49 years of married life. Happy Anniversary Miss Franny.

It's been a funny old few days. We are having new wardrobes fitted and the car refused to come off the drive to allow for the skip. S-I-L Eddie got new key batteries and tried again but it was the car battery that is defunct. Luckily our lovely neighbours allowed us to have the skip put on their drive. Wardrobe parts delivered yesterday afternoon much to the confusion of the driver who saw skip on wrong drive and wondered whether he had wrong address...

Meanwhile after the car sitting on the drive for more than a year, I've decided to get rid of it. I'm told I'll be carrying the cancer about indefinitely now and the legs also make driving a no-no at the present time. I'm over 70 now and have seen too many drivers of that age, who consider themselves fit for driving, make the most dangerous decisions or show a deteriorated ability to judge distances. Even my dear old Dad scared me on the last couple of occasions he drove me anywhere once he got over 70. And my current level of exhaustion means I'd be scared of falling asleep at the wheel.

Although there have been few signs to date that I would when I need to concentrate, I only need to stop concentrating for a few seconds and the next thing I find is that my eyes are closed and I'm sitting chin on chest at my desk or whilst watching TV. Not going to risk it!

The District Nurses on Monday referred me back to GP for leg swelling and I saw a GP (!!!) yesterday, resulting in another change of meds followed by more blood tests then booking to see him again in a couple of weeks.

The wardrobe fitters arrive tomorrow so hopefully we will have new flashy wardrobes by Friday evening. The old ones are shown above.

The new ones are shown here. It's the same TV which was perhaps a mistake as it may be HD but it's not a smart TV and I'd have loved a few more USB inputs if I'm honest. I might get round to it at some point... We gained some wardrobe space and shelf space and can now watch the TV from a remote Sky box.

30 March 2025. The leg ulcers seem to be getting better, in that areas are scabbing over and splitting into islands leaving more healthy new skin showing inbetween. But the pain meanwhile is just the same. I am now seeing the District Nurses twice a week in the surgery which is much better than the once weekly arrangement. I had another bad session last weekend with leaky wounds oozing out through bandages and the District Nurse command centre did send someone to the house.

She turned out not to be allowed to touch compression bandage so she just put a layer of cotton wool bandage on after cutting off the compression bandages and said someone else would come later the same day. This second nurse just put compression bandages on top of the cotton wool, leaving my legs looking as thick as tree trunks and very hot and painful. This prompted my usual nurse to say she would make two slots available at surgery for me each week.

Meanwhile I have seen a GP about the swelling and have more blood tests this coming week. I am now on two different diuretic pills daily and have started to notice the tightness slackening off a bit. That's all good. However, hobbling to the loo in time is an adventure! I'm reminded of my dear old Uncle David who used to develop medical products and who related this story....

'We had been to a conference and stopped on the motorway for a meal on the way back. There were a few of us. One of my mates said, "David, how do you know if your incontinence pants will hold up when you need to wee?"

'I said "Well the only way is just to wear them and test by letting go". So he did. In the queue at the counter. And they didn't...'

Family Memories: Personal Index

The Next Leg of Health Updates

Oof! I hope you can forgive the dreadful pun of the article title... But it helps to make fun of health problems I've found.

3 February 2025. "The garage door won't open!" said a crestfallen Miss Franny this morning. Daughter Gill was coming as they were both going down into Blackpool shopping or sunbathing, I'm not too sure. So Gill went for a look too. "We think it's the bar with the pull string at the top of the door," said Miss Franny. Strange because that only comes into play when you are closing not opening the door.

So I stagger to my feet, shuffle to garage door, give it a tug and feel resistance at the bottom of the door not the top. Look down and a big bit of gravel from the path sits there with folded arms as if to say "So what are *you* going to do about it???" Whack it away with my walking stick that's what. Door opens perfectly. The ladies in my family go "Oh..." and burst out laughing......... I hobble slowly and painfully back into the relative warmth of the house...

10 February 2025. Funny old week. The District Nurses keep telling me the legs are improving, though the one that started these leg problems required me to call out the out of hours emergency District Nurse service as something of a flood was making itself known late on Saturday night. The gunk that comes out of such wounds - a watery brown liquid - is referred to as "extrude". A couple of nights ago the extrude from my right leg had soaked it's way through the layers of bandages and was dripping, almost continually running, off my foot at regular intervals.

My descriptions were pooh-poohed when I phoned up the District Nurses Emergency line at Blackpool and I was indebted to my friend "C", herself a retired District Nurse, who not only gave good advice but who took up cudgels on my behalf and got someone to call round to mop me up and redress the leg.

It was my first inclination that different District Nurses have very different methods depending on where they are based. No attempt was made to wash the leg. The first nurse who came said she wasn't trained to do what was necessary and had to call an alternative. When the next nurse came it was simply redressed with a double layer of bandages and without any compression "Oh we don't do that from the hospital..." I lost most of Saturday night's sleep but last night was better than most nights where I am lucky to get more than three hours of sleep.

21 February 2025. Still ups and downs with the legs, though I (with the intervention of the District Nurses) have managed to persuade the doctor's surgery pharmacist to prescribe more powerful painkillers in the form of nerve pain pills and codeine pills to help keep the pain down to bearable levels for most of the time.

I've been sleeping better but that has a knock-on effect that the legs are pressured in just one position for longer periods at night which can lead to painful mornings. Eventually I had to deal with that by sleeping with my left leg out of bed, dangling down so that my foot could rest of a pile of pillows and cushions.

This week we took two buses out from home to town and then town to South Shore to the local Currys where I ordered a new PC as this one is creaking under the load and can't be upgraded to Windows 11. This entailed a lot of walking and a missed connection coming home which left me standing for half an hour opposite the wind coming off the sea at North Pier.

The following day was torture day at the District Nurses. She said "I can tell you've been walking a lot, your calf muscle has been working - that's good..." Anyway the right leg does look much better so that's good. As is the fact that my painkillers are now on repeat prescription.

The oncologists at Christies have pushed back the next MRI to April on the strength of needing blood tests. I have pushed the cancer totally to the back of my mind, which I've needed to do to cope with the pain from the legs. Growing old - not fun...

Family Memories: Personal

Health Updates January 2025

Sunday 5 January 2025. We have our annual visit of snow showers. We never get very much in the way of snow as we live too close to the sea, just outside Blackpool, so there's plenty of salt in the air. Just every now and then though...

Thursday 9 January 2025. Another in the occasional series "If it's going to happen it'll be at the worst time and in the worst way"...

So a bit of background. I take painkillers for the leg 4 times a day, 9:00am 3:00pm, 9:00pm, 3:00am. In order to facilitate the 3:00am one either my internal clock or pain wakens me somewhere around the right time. I leave the bedroom lamp on so I don't start having to grope about for stuff. All went well last night, until around 3:20 the call of nature got me painfully out of bed, with aid of walking stick and leaning on various items of furniture and walls to accomplish what needed to be accomplished.

Came back to bed reached out to deposit walking stick in its resting place between bed and chest of drawers. Crook of walking stick dips into glass of water still 1/2 full and knocks it over emptying contents over bed, pillows, floor, the double plug socket feeding the lamp and alarm clock...

I yelp. Miss Franny sits up fearful that I have hurt myself. We find that top of my bed and pillows are soaked through and have to find something else to lie against whilst after a brief and largely unsuccessful bout of mopping and towelling fails to dry bed.

A fresh towel is laid on top of wet bit of bed (hence the somewhat dimpled botty on getting up this morning... [photo sadly unavailable]) I spend the rest of the night sitting up in one of those reading pillows - we call it "Big Ted" as it's like sitting between the legs of a large teddy bear.

Manage to get to sleep sometime between 4:00-4:30am having unplugged all the electrics and set alarm on phone which thankfully managed to escape a drenching. Another day (or night) in the life... Sorry Miss Franny - did I mention she's an angel?

Wednesday 15 January 2025. Well, after my weekly visit to the District Nurses yesterday I now have both legs under compression, leading to a rather troubled night's sleep last night. Nurse pronounced herself pleased at the condition of my left leg (the one with the ulcer on the back). She pulled off a huge piece of dead skin - very painful, but needed doing. It was around 1/8 inch thick and 3 x 2 inches and so had to be torn off slowly bit by bit whilst I held my breath and tried to blank out the world. I was shaking by the time she stopped. She was going to leave the last 1/4 of an inch and cut across the 2 inch loose flap but I just said to pull it off.

For the sake of another two seconds it wasn't worth leaving any dead skin on. She said I was her only patient in pain that didn't complain. I'm not sure that complaining about it would achieve anything though. Whilst having all the dead skin off would definitely help it start to recover. So now doddering about with both legs giving me jip (gyp?). Thighs swollen and so solid I could probably bounce bullets off them... (I probably won't try...)

Thursday 30 January 2025. Since the de-sloughing two weeks ago (an older name for it was "flaying") I have had a lot of pain and not got out much. The wound on my right leg grew and with compression on both legs the swelling higher up from knee to naughty bits has been debilitating. For instance, sitting in my desk chair results in painful dents on either side where the chair arms dig in.

I saw someone re the swelling (an advanced practitioner - if you want to see an actual doctor you either have to know one personally or watch that year's Strictly Come Dancing - Chris McCausland's joke was spot on there...) and had blood tests and ECG and it seems the thyroid has flared up again. This caused me quite a few problems in the later 2000s and could be causing some similar recognisable symptoms now.

No news on the cancer but an MRI is due some time in Feb/March so am quite happy to push that to the back of my mind.

Family Memories: Personal Index

Artworks, 2025 Part 2

3 January 2026. Welcome to the second and final article showing my artwork over the previous year. 2025 was a difficult year in many ways, but in this second article we have to start with a stay in hospital. I had been suffering with some very painful leg ulcers for a year, a side effect so I was given to believe of my cancer which was still with me on my liver, but stable after an intensive course of radiotherapy at Christies hospital in Manchester in 2024.

I had had a fall on the stairs in early May 2025 after which I found I couldn't stand or walk. Five weeks in Blackpool's Victoria Hospital was followed by four weeks in respite at Clifton Hospital in Lytham St Annes, learning how to walk again. Whilst there I got Miss Franny to bring my smaller A5 sketchbook and used the only drawing tool I had - a ballpoint pen.

4 June 2025. Drawing from memory I found really hard. I don't like drawn art that is photographically realistic because I just don't see the point in it. If you want something so realistic just use a camera, but I've never just made up scenes before. So this is based on memory of more than one such meeting of streets in Italy and the island of La Palma in the Canaries, but I'd bet I'd never find an exact match!

11 June 2025. In 2023 we took a holiday up in the Trossachs and Highlands of Scotland. This was our hotel - the Loch Tummel Hotel - and I used the holiday brochure we had booked the holiday from to find a photo of the hotel. We were in a room around the right hand side as you look from this viewpoint.

16 June 2025. Another one from the brochure, although our particular holiday itinerary had not included Loch Lomond.

19 June 2025. I'd moved from Victoria Hospital to Clifton in St Annes. Not the easiest of places for Fran to get to for visiting but she did well thanks to good friends.

I wondered why nurses came into my room to look through the blind every night at 4:00am. It turned out that a family of foxes had their den between the two near trees on the right and came out at that time to play on the lawn. Which was unfortunately too low down for me to be able to see from my bed and getting out of bed was still not a thing to be contemplated.

23 June 2025. The Ward had a breakfast Club which met in the Day Room with this view of the garden. Patients could go out and sit there and have their meals in the Day Room which I did every day once I'd heard of it.

A nurse would transfer me via a sack truck type of affair into a wheelchair and I would sit with one chap who was suffering from Parkinsons and another, who would get up at all hours of the night wanting to come into the room for breakfast even at 3:00am, being convinced it was breakfast time, I dubbed us the Three Musketeers...

27 June 2025. I was progressing, from wheelchair to faltering steps using a zimmer frame and from that to crutches. The nurses were saying they could tell that my determination would carry me through. There were quite a few others who just gave up or who stopped at the first twinge of pain. I'd been in constant pain for almost a year and exhaustion since the first op on the cancer in August 2022. It wasn't going to beat me... The weather had turned nice and the three musketeers were accustomed to spend the entire day in the Day Room from getting up to going back to bed. This was loosely based on my memory of Livorno on the banks of Lake Garda in Italy.

2 July 2025. A Cotswolds scene, but don't ask me where it is... I was walking with just my trusty walking stick by now. Physio Therapists were having me climbing up and down a few stairs to see how I could cope and in this respect things seemed to be progressing well. It was quite an emotional time though. I was getting frustrated at being in hospital and at the same time humbled by what I was either being told or by what I overheard.

My friend with Parkinsons tended to dribble quite a bit and whenever I could I sat next to him with tissues at hand to help mop him up. He could also struggle to be understood and I often had to ask him to repeat something, whilst trying not to make a big thing about it which may have embarrassed him. One day he had a meltdown and was talking to one of the nurses who asked him about his friends. "I don't have any friends," he said, "just John..."

The nurse glanced at me and said quietly, "Yes, he's great isn't he?" So I found tears streaming down my face too...

7 July 2025. They weren't all good days by far. This one had me very emotional and one of the nurses took me in hand out to a quiet spot in the garden and insisted I sit with her and draw. It wasn't a great scene but it did calm me down and she was very kind. I think the idea was just to get me to a quiet place where she could talk to me. I was discharged to go home the following day.

27 August 2025. It took me a while to get back into doing any artwork. After so many weeks away from home lots of things needed sorting. The home insurance was due to end. The company was going out of business. Just little things like that... No idea where this is meant to be, I used a photo off the Internet and went back to my favourite combination of coloured pencils in the A4 sketchbook.

30 August 2025. Another Internet picture was the inspiration for this. I was particularly chuffed with the tree trunk closest to the viewpoint. Little things...

1 September 2025. The Croatian village of Skradin in the Krka National Park. Pencil crayon in the A4 sketchbook. Remembering some selfish twonk who after having been told we were to go straight to the coach to get back to the cruise ship, decided to instead go for a drink in a bar. His wife came to the bus apologetically to tell the guide and driver, who immediately went to find him and drag him back, this taking 20 minutes. Can you imagine anyone being so self-centred that they are willing to have everyone else on the coach wait for them? Some people just make your blood boil...

14 September 2025. Miss Franny came home from a shopping expedition with a present... I set to and tried them out.

Very different to work with but quite good fun. The Priest House was owned by Henry VIII and passed on to Thomas Cromwell, Anne of Cleves, Queen Mary I and Queen Elizabeth I.

To date that's it. The A4 sketchbook was filled and replaced by another which has yet to be sullied by crayon or pencil. I'll be back within the next few days to continue the tale of the cancer and ulcers and general grottiness BUT... The main thing is I'm still here, still thinking of mischief if not exactly capable of getting up to it and still determined to get to a stage where I can drag Miss Franny off on some foreign jaunt, preferably on the high seas with a couple of fellow musicians I know! Hello 2026!

Sketching and Artwork Index

Artworks, 2025 Part 1

Once again at the start of a New Year, we take a look at my artwork over the past year. Unable to get out and about much this year, most of these have been done from photographs, either my own or those taken around 100 years ago for the postcard industry.

This was one of those from an old postcard. I drew this on 6 January 2025. It is Budleigh in Devon. We had visited a couple of years previously on a coach tour from our holiday base in Torquay. Coloured pencils in the A4 sketchbook.

1 February 2025. I don't think I've ever been to Lynmouth in Devon, but what a fabulous looking place it is. Modern postcard views I've seen are still recogniseable but the modern road surfaces do not add to the general peaceful ambience of this location. Once again (as many of the year's works are) coloured pencils in the A4 sketchbook.

10 February 2025. The Edwardians were as fascinated with the taking of photographs from low-flying aircraft as we have been at the use of drones in the 21st century for the same purpose. I think this is my first attempt at a high viewpoint sketch but I think it turned out ok.

As always I did a search for the location on Google images, which is Withington in Gloucestershire with the Mill Inn. The greenery at the foot of the road bridge over the river has now grown so much that the trees and bushes totally block any view over the side of the bridge. Coloured pencils in the A4 sketchbook.

21 February 2025.I do sometimes make a bit of a hash at these sketches. In this case I managed to turn the square tower of the church at Godshill, Isle of Wight, into a rectangle, Stupid boy... Coloured pencils in the A4 sketchbook is getting to be a much repreated phrase...

This one was from one of my own photographs and depicts a quiet corner of Lake Garda in Northern Italy. At the northern end of the lake, the hills rise on both sides of the lake and behind the top edge of the lake rise a little more slowly but inexorably until you find yourself shivering in the Dolomite mountains. I was coming to the end of the sketchbook, with just a few pages left and was determined to finish it by the end of 2025.

28 March 2025. Back to the Edwardian postcards for this one which shows a road by a stream in Norden near Rochdale. The black blob in the road is supposed to be a cat and indeed was a cat in the photograph. I'm not really sure what the magic of my black crayon managed to turn him into...

12 April 2025. The ancient medieval city of Kotor in Montenegro is a fabulous stop on cruises up or down the Adriatic. Later in the season it is quiet, tranquil and wonderful to explore the streets, cafes and plazas with their open air cafes.

The last time we visited was in August and it was a nightmare of crowds and stifling heat that made us vow never to visit again during the peak summer months. I did this from one of my own photographs (taken during a previous visit!).

22 April 2025. Once again this was done using one of my own photographs as a reference. This is Geiranger in Norway, looking down the fjord with a ferry heading towards the town of Geiranger and a road snaking its way up the steep mountainside.

6 May 2025. Bibury in the Cotswolds is a wonderfully picturesque village and I've done a couple of drawings of it in the past. I've also stood, leaning on the sides of various bridges, watching trout rise up from the bottom of the stream to snaffle up some unsuspecting fly which had the misfortune to become waterlogged and trapped on the surface of the water. All sketches so far have been pencil crayons in the A4 sketchbook. Now for a change...

31 May 2025. Yes well... Several firsts... First sketch done purely with a Bic ballpoint pen. First sketch done totally from memory / imagination. First pic done whilst lying in a hospital bed.

I'd suffered a fall and by now had been in hospital just over two weeks. The whole stay in hospital was to be two months so there's more ballpoints to come. Details of the reason for being in hospital will come as I carry on the story of my cancer and its side effects... Ballpoint pen in the A5 sketchbook, which I asked Miss Franny to bring me to relieve the monotony and (I must admit) to take my mind off some pain...

1 June 2025. The final one for now, there's more to come in Part 2 both ballpoint and a return to colours. The housekeeper on our ward was a lovely young lady and was getting married later on in the year. With a honeymoon booked for Lake Como she asked if I could do a drawing of that. I had to do this from a photo on my phone screen - not easy to see detail, but she was quite taken by it and after taking this photo of it on the phone I ripped the page out of the sketchbook and gave it to her.

Sketching and Artwork Index