Mallorca, Majorca, Let's Call The Whole Thing Off

Tuesday 29 September 2026. We are close to the end of our cruise. This really is our last day, as tomorrow we will be in Barcelona but will be getting off the ship early morning to go to the airport to come home.

But today we are in Majorca or Mallorca to give it its local name. We have boarded and disembarked from ships so many times here, but today we are moored quite a way from the marina. Nevertheless we decide it's our last day so we are going to get off the ship and walk along the coastal path.

I'm not fast at walking these days, but I reckon we've walked for a good hour without the scenery changing very much at all. We did reach the marina and the King of Spain's yacht is moored in its usual spot, but we are never going to reach the basilica at this rate and already we are facing another hour's walk back to the ship.

By the time we are close to the ship we are both in sore need of a drink. Luckily there were a few benches where I allowed myself a few minutes rest but now we spy a cafe-cum-gift-shop across the road. It's a crew cafe but they don't turn custom away and we sink gratefully into a seat that isn't bare metal and treat the old tonsils to a gush of ice cold liquid...

Hang on... I know that voice... We are sitting behind a potted hedge plant but vaguely I can see Tomas in the shop. We wait for him to come out but he escapes from a different doorway and we miss him!

Back on the ship at the door knob wall, as we have dubbed it. Miss Franny keeps joking she wants one as a souvenir and in places it does look as though someone has had a go at detaching one or two with varying degrees of success. I manage to dissuade her though...

The afternoon is spent throwing clothes into suitcases and making sure we haven't missed anything (though what happened to that shoe horn I've no idea...)

We head for the dining room for one last time and I took this one later as we crossed for the last time from the rear of the ship (the round end) to the Horizons Bar at the front (the pointy end). The island of Majorca is receding in the distance and we are now heading for our final port of call, Barcelona.

A lot of hugs and a few tears as we say farewell to Tom and Maris until another cruise brings us out to their ship. This has been a fabulous cruise with great people. So many passengers willing to chat, a fabulous crew too, for whom nothing was too much trouble

Cases have to be outside the cabins by 02:00am at the latest. We remembered to leave ourselves some clothes to wear tomorrow... Hey - it happens!

Morning. As we leave the customs house in Barcelona we are called. It's an American couple we met on our first day. We haven't seen them since but they remember us and made a big thing about first day/last day meetings which was quite fun.

Also outside the customs house was a demonstration. I'm not sure what it was about but the participants were mostly student age and all of a sudden we jumped as some sort of large firework or small explosive went off with a huge bang and cloud of smoke followed a couple of minutes after by sirens and the arrival of police cars... We got on our coach for the airport and left them to get on with it.

Index very shortlly...

Port Vendres, France

Monday, 28 September 2026. We continue our cruise with a visit to Port Vendres, France. It's a new port for us but a bit of a dull day as yet!

We pass through customs and turn towards the town, finding ourselves walking along the inevitable marina. It's still a couple of hours off lunchtime but the place seems eerily deserted.

The only people about are our fellow passengers and the quiet of the place seems even to have affected them. One or two greet us in subdued voices. You would think it a Sunday rather than a weekday.

There's a row of parked cars along the dockside. Presumably somebody has been up early and gone out for a day's fishing.

The map we were given shows that there is still quite a way to go in front of us to round the corner where there is a park at the end of the bay and a church on the opposite bank.

The dockside path runs out and we have a choice of walking back and retracing our steps but on the higher level where the road and shps are, or climbing the staircase against the tall wall that supports the town and stops it falling into the bay.

I take a deep breath and we take the steps up the wall. "Oh, well done!" says Miss Franny as I reach the top. I don't answer... I'm too busy dealing with screaming back muscles and the invisible men who keep plunging needles into me... We take a moment.

We are now around the corner and the church is visible and thw trees on the left are the edge of the park. It contains a few statues and memorials to President Charles de Gaulle.

The park was as far as we walked. We came back along the row of shops on the upper level but failed to find an open cafe. Then by the time we arrived back near the customs house, the sun had decided to come out at last and altered the mood of the place.

After some lunch we made our way to Baristas again and I started this, cursing myself several times that I would start something so complicated and it would be the following day before I managed to finsh it!

Index to come...

Excursion to Cassis

Sunday 27 September 2026. Today we awaken in the French port of Marseilles. We are booked on a half-day excursion to a lovely old seaside town called Cassis.

Getting there though turns into something of a will we - won't we, as there has been a bicycle race on the narrow roads surrounding the hills above the town and there has been a bad accident that has closed the road, leading to some long queues and delays. We eventually reach the coach park - there is no way a coach could get down into the village.

So we hop onto a road train and ride down to the lowest spot we can get before we have to take to foot, emerging down the steps shown here to the right of the pink building.

First priority is a drink. Luckily there are plenty of cafes open despite it being Sunday. After the steps I need to catch my breath before trotting off anywhere.

The marina is full of rather more modest yachts than Portofino, but sadly still out of range of my pocket... In fact about the only boat within range of my pocket would be an inflatable and I've watched too many programmes about lifeboats to fall for that option!

We have a slow wander up into the town centre, where a market displays a mixture of goods and crafts to tempt the traveller and Miss Franny disappears into the same biscuit shop we visited on our last visit here in 2007. We came out loaded with several bags of biscuits...

We had time to walk slowly around the marina. It's warm and already I'm wanting another drink! We settle for a tub of ice cream each as an alternative.

Then we take a seat near to the meeting place for the walk back up to the road train. I knew that I would never manage to keep up with the rest of the people in our party so I had a word with the guide and we set off up the hill. We got to the road train stop just as he arrived with another train load of passengers and soon the rest of our party was seen coming up the hill.

Back onboard the ship in Marseilles with the church of Notre-Dame de la Garde High on the hill la Garde for which it is named, it can be reached by yet another of those little road trains. It has an all-round 360 degree view of the city and from it, with a good pair of binolculars, you'd be able to spot us ignoring it for the more pressing needs of lunchtime...

Index to come...

Food, Friends and Fun

It's still Saturday, 26 September 2026. But it is a bit later in the day. We have been - if you have been following this holiday blog (if not, why not?) - to Villefranche on the French Riviera during the day but are now at sea and heading for Marseilles which is our port for tomorrow. Tonight we have booked a meal in one of the speciality restaurants onboard Oceania Sirena.

There are two such restaurants on the Sirena and this is the Tuscan Steak restaurant. We were wondering what the meal would be like. We were, I have to say, less than impressed with the steaks on the NCL ship we last cruised on, but no such worries tonight as the meal was excellent.

They have not skimped on the plateware and cutlery either. Cutlery for the main meal arrives with the meal.

Miss Franny had a bottle of Prosecco set aside and I tried a glass of non-alcoholic Merlot, though as I feared it was a not so much full-bodied as one leg and half an arm... At least it wasn't quite the paint stripper that I was dreading! Come on cruise lines, get some decent non-alcoholic beers in stock, not those wind-inducing lagers...

But, the meal itself couldn't be faulted, the dessert menu required serious thought and scoring as to pros and cons. Though the creme brulee quickly won the process and was generous in portion and delicious in taste and texture when it arrived.

Then it was across the top of the ship once again to Horizons bar where we were joined for a short while by Tom and Maris until it was time for them to go on stage. There was quite a party in there but no one on the dance floor so I managed to persuade Miss Franny up for a dance - well, more a lean on stick and sway a bit really, but it gained me a round of applause for the effort and Maris grabbed her phone to immortalise the moment.

Then they came to sit with us as one set finished and they relaxed before the next. This sometimes confused other passengers... "What was that all about?" asked one passenger one night when the bar was crowded and Maris had come to whisper in my ear that they were going out of the bar for a while. I have enough photos on my phone to convince people that we have known them a long time and that I've sung with them and elsewhere all my life.

"Is that you???" is a common exclaimation upon seeing the photo of me as a long-haired 17-year-old way back in 2007. Oh sorry, my mistake, early 1970s then...

Index to come...

Oceania Sirena visits Villefranche

Saturday 26 September 2026. It's early morning and the colours are muted still as we gaze out over the ship's rail at the French resort of Villefranche which sits neatly between Nice and Monaco's Monte Carlo.

It is, I think, our fifth visit to this lovely village on the Frenh Riviera. It has a wide bay but a shallow harbour and so we are anchored safely in the bay whilst the ship's tender boats take us into the harbour, weaving through the moored fishing boats and pleasure craft to drop us conveniently at the western edge of the village.

I know that plenty of passengers look upon the prospect of getting on and off these smaller boats as something of an ordeal, but the crew will tell you when to stand still and when to step on or off and hands are waiting to ensure you make it across safely. Grasp at forearms not at hands to make it as easy as possbily. Yes the boats can move up and down quite a bit relatively to the ship's gangway, which will follow the side of the ship, not hang out over open water. But follow instructions and you will soon find yourself on or off the boat.

We have for the last few visits, made our way along to the opposite end of the attractive seafront to the very last cafe before you reach the railway station. The cafe was there but shut. And from the state of the interior, it didn't look like it was about to open soon as boxes and chairs were stacked on tables and the place looked somewhat deserted.

But almost the entire seafront is lined with cafes and tables and we had no trouble at all in finding somewhere to sit, which action soon brought forth a waiter from the cafe across the road.

And then to our surprise, there came the sound of laughter and an accordion and a small group of folk dancers appeared along the seafront road.

Stopping not far in front of our table, they did a short sequence of dance moves without a single hobby horse, wave of hanky or banging of sticks and then turned off up a narrow street where a series of steps led up into the town proper.

We made our way back towards the maritime building but stopped for almost an hour on a bench on a raised platform of land that on a previous visit had housed a collection of market stalls and where my mother had wandered off heading in the opposite direction to that which we had told her. Luckily I spotted her, just about to disappear into the town and had to go running after her... I did 75% of the pencil sketch whilst we were sitting there then finished it later in Baristas.

Index to come...

Portofino, the Millionaires' Playground

Friday, 25 September 2026. One of the highly anticipated days of our cruise. We are in Portofino and, as the ship is anchored off the port, we are tendering directly into Portofino with no need for a costly tour involving a ferry from nearby Santa Margherita.

One of just a handful of spots along the north shore of the Mediterranean Sea where the millionaires and A-listers flock, Portofino is a gorgeous tiny harbour with a curving access lined with pleasing coloured hotels, shops and villas clustered around a tiny space beore the land rises steeply to the truly magnificent and expensive properties on the hillsides from which those superstars rarely emerge before at least noon.

Luckily I can be up early mornings because at best I'm a K-lister (sold CDs around the world but in laughably small numbers, played on numerous ships from the Caribbean to the Greek Islands, been on TV and radio and also known for this blog which currently gets around 5k hits daily). Not exactly an influencer but not bad for a pensioner content creator...

Here you get an idea of the curved aspect of the approach into the harbour as witnessed by the buildings to the right of the photograph. The empty bay is where the ferries from nearby Santa Marguerita dock.

Between the ferry dock and that which we have just arrived at is a large bay devoted to the modest little motor yachts of the rich whether famous or not.

I'm in two minds about fame. I've had people come up to me in airports to say how much they enjoyed my singing on various cruise ships and once got recognised in a crowd of 12,000 people waiting to be admitted to an Andre Rieue concert and I always enjoyed it in such moderation but I imagine it must be a bit galling when you are constantly interrupted by fans in restaurants or whilst out with your family.

I think I've only ever been asked for an autograph twice, so I must be doing a good job of remaining relatively anonymous...

The last time we were here, we enjoyed a wonderful gelato at a table outside a cafe but this time we found it gone. A small kiosk nearby but without any tables and chairs carried the same name and was selling cones but we were ready for a sit down and found a place on the opposite side of the harbour.

Their gelatos were a bit more like sorbet but just as welcome and a limonata went down very well.

Then a sit on a bench on the edge of the harbour and relax...

Miss Franny woke me when I started to snore and I woke with a start, staring wildly around at the empty space where surely just a minute ago all the autograph hunters had been waiting patiently...

"Dream on..." said Miss Franny tolerantly, upon which instruction I closed my eyes again only to find an elbow in my ribs...

Index to come...

We Stay Aboard Ship

Wednesday, 23 September 2026. We are in Civitavecchia, Italy today with a bit of disappointment. We were due to go for a coach ride around the sights of Rome, but only four people had opted for that option so the excursion had been cancelled. Unable to walk very far - as I found out in Taormina - walking through a large city like Rome would not have been possible for me so sadly we are onboard for the day.

Civitavecchia is not a tourist port. It serves as the gateway for Rome which can be reached by coach or train, the journey either way taking several hours, but the only bit of interest along the seafront is this statue based on the famous end of World War II photo of a returning American sailor kissing a girl in Times Square. This photograph was taken in 2013 on another cruise.

We had, then, already been kicked out of the local fortress as it was now the offices of the port customs and we were asked to leave...

Sitting in Baristas coffee bar in the morning MSC Grandiosa sails out past us. There is something grotesque to my mind of a ship so large. They cannot sail into smaller ports which are often far more interesting than the larger ones and they carry so many passengers that not only is there little chance of running again into someone you have struck up a conversation with at dinner, but the strain they put on local services like coach firms and popular destinations make it a nightmare trying to see some famous sights for the number of people standing in front of them.

There was something about this ship that took us a while to get to grips with which lifts to use. Here we have emerged at twilight onto the deck above the Pool Deck on our way to Horizons Bar to spend the night listening to Tomas and Maris singing.

You get the most beautiful sunsets at sea. As the sun sinks beneath the horizon the whole sky can turn a vivid gradient from blue to orange and red. Sadly we have just missed that moment but instead have the aftermath of darker shades.

Looking back at the Pool Deck below us. A touch cool now for anyone to be swimming. Onboard pools are usually closed by long before this time anyway. Staff have a natural aversion to finding floating corpses of last night's drunks as they open up and clean the pools each morning...

Thursday, 24 September 2026. This was taken the following night. We had just left the port of Porto Cervo, Olbia, Sardinia. It's very strange really but I have no recollection of this day at all. We must have gone there because otherwise something noteworthy would have happened. So we must have stayed on the ship doing something or other until it was time to head to Horizons in the evening to catch Tom and Maris - as my only photo of the day shows! Weird...

Index to come...

Return To Sorrento, 2026

Tuesday 22 September 2026. We are at anchor off the cliffs of Sorrento. Across the Bay of Naples is the familar sight of Vesuvius. We always remember our visit in 2014 when gazing at the same view before breakfast a fellow passenger said slowly, as if it took great thought... "You know, that looks a bit like a volcano, doesn't it?" We laugh about it every time Vesuvius, Pompeii, Naples or Sorrento ever crop up in a conversation...

Anyway, Vesuvius isn't going to feature greatly in today's plans as we are looking forward to just catching a tender boat to Sorrento, having a wander along the colourful narrow streets of shops and a drink (sadly non-alcoholic). I do miss being able to sip at an Aperol aperatif in Italy. We won't be bringing a bottle of Limoncello back with us either this year!

But we do make for the little cafe named for Belgium's Mannekin Pis that we have visited several times in the past. The waitress has a rather familiar accent... she was from Leeds!

Most Italian towns have fabulous displays of pottery and Sorrento is no different. There are lots of Chinese girls wandering about in groups dressed in long flowing layered skirts and dresses.

The non-alcoholic drink of choice this holiday is a cloudy lemonade with a splash of orange syrup. Very refreshing and, let's face it, those weather-beaten features need all the refreshing they can get...

Then we carry on along the narrow street until the shopy peter out and so we turn to head back to the cliff tops above the harbour. I don't know whether people take one look and then feel sorry for me, but I always find it very easy to fall into conversation with people on holiday.

Having found a space to sit on a bench I chat with a couple from Garstang, just a few miles from our home, who are staying a short distance along the cliffs at San Agnello where we had stayed with my mother in 2005. They were replaced by an American couple from our ship.

We fell into many such conversations with our fellow cruisers from across the pond. I was careful (and so were they) to avoid any mention of Donald but from reading between the lines I don't think we met anyone in favour of him as any talk about conditions back home was about rising prices and axed services.

Once back onboard, we caught up with Tom and Maris as they performed on the Pool Deck and went in search of some lunch. As far as eating went on the ship, we used the buffet for breakfast and lunch and then every night but one went into the Main Dining Room for our evening meal and a bit of outrageous flirting with the young lady who was greeting and directing waiters to take us to our table.

We always say (well Miss Franny does and usually in a resigned tone) "Once seen, never forgotten..." and by just the second night I was greeted by name and we were placed on a table next to a window, which agreeable treatment became a nightly feature. We tried one of the speciality dining rooms one night but be patient and it will feature sooner or later...

That afternoon we made our way to Baristas coffee bar and I found a table near enough to the window that I could so this pencil sketch of the coast and Sorrento. Apparently once again this gathered an audience but as they mostly stayed behind me I was totally unaware of them until Miss Franny told me later.

This was slightly tricky as the window only gave me a narrow view and each side had to be done as the ship swung that way at anchor. I'd usually get to a tricky point and the subject would disappear behind the side of the window...

That night we were sitting in the Horizons bar, listening to Tom and Maris when an American lady came up to me and said "Oh, we have so much in common!" I must have looked a little non-plussed as her husband bent down to my ear and said, "Don't worry - she frightens me too sometimes...!" They went to sit at a table a little way away and after a while I went over and said, "I'm intruiged, what do we have in common?"

They were from Seattle and were a lovely couple who we had a little chat with every time we came across them. If you get to read this by any chance, guys, please do feel free to get in touch!

Index to come...