The DIY Bowel Cancer Test

Another example of all things bizarre...

Just got off the phone talking to my uncle. They've just had an advert for a "Do-It-Yourself Bowel Cancer Test"! It's not strictly D-I-Y because what you do is collect samples from three stools from your bowel movements and send them off in the post to a laboratory who will test them for you and send the results back.

It is apparently important to catch the sample before it hits the water. This obviously makes sense as otherwise it might go too soggy and ooze through the envelope...

In the interests of appearing supportive and helpful I did suggest he could employ a catcher's glove something like the one shown here.

Also if you, dear reader, are fortunate enough to receive an advert for this service and want to take advantage of it, we further thought that any rather too solid stools should be placed in padded envelopes for safety reasons. Indeed if you were particularly badly compacted it may be best to use parcel post as otherwise the envelope may not squash through the letter box...

If you want your original back, remember to include a stamped addressed envelope.

Oh and finally - remember to mark your envelope "sort by hand". The thoughts of them being forced through the rollers of an automatic machine doesn't bear thinking of...