A series of articles describing our cruise on the Ocean Village Two. The itinerary for this cruise was Heraklion, Crete > Day at Sea > Dubrovnik, Croatia > Venice, Italy > Korčula, Croatia > Corfu, Greece > Zakinthos, Greece > Heraklion, Crete.
Join us in our adventures, trials and mishaps. Each article can be accessed by clicking or tapping the photographs below. A link at the end of each article will bring you back to this index page.
We got off the ship to a display of Greek dancing on the quayside. The girl in the middle had a face like thunder for some reason - probably not helped by the two morons watching who were saying loudly, "Oh, she's not a happy bunny in the middle!" totally ignoring the fact that just because they didn't speak Greek it was quite possible she could understand what they were saying...
Today we weren't going to do a trip. After all the excitement of Corfu I might never do one again... Anyway, we just got off the ship and wandered off on our own to see what delights Zakinthos could offer us.
It was a bit early in the season perhaps - or all the Brits that haunt the bars and fling their clothes off for the late night Sky One shows were still sleeping it off and hadn't yet woken up to think "My God - who's he/she/them?"
A walk around the back streets and shopping streets gave us a mixed sense of Zakinthos. The shopping streets had some large shop windows and marble pavements with cool arcades to shelter shoppers from the sun whilst elsewhere, even on the same street were older, smaller shops with broken pavements and many with fish displayed outside, strong smelling and not particularly appealing except to cats and, I suppose, the locals. Though I have to point out that when it comes to fish, we don't particularly eat a lot of it anyway and of what we do probably more than half comes wrapped in batter from the local chippy!
There was a large amount of building work in evidence - I said that deliberately rather than "going on"... This probably added to making the atmosphere a bit dusty.
It wasn't dusty enough to be unpleasant or to even be aware of it, but most surfaces and cars were caked in dust. Perhaps they just conserve their water, I don't know. Car parking seemed to be a challenge to many drivers. One chap found the space between two cars less than he needed, so he just left his car in the middle of road, next to them and wandered off down the street to do his shopping. Someone else had parked nose to the kerb in order to use a small space.
There were loads of cars double parked, sometimes whole rows of them, making it impossible for anyone parked next to the kerb to drive away. Your average British traffic warden would have loved it - I'll bet they all go there for their holidays, just to dream. Probably leave notes on the windscreen saying "if only this were on my patch..."
We made our way down to the seafront and walked along the Promenade for a while. We kept meeting couples from the ship who all asked the same thing - "Is this it?" We told them about the shopping street we had found and they tried to look excited, but yes, as nice as the seafront was - that seemed to be it.
We walked for another quarter hour and then turned and walked back all along the front, buying a drink from a stall.
The dancers had packed up and gone, perhaps leading away an inconsolable young woman from the middle with the words "I know I shouldn't have stepped on your foot, but if you could just look like you are enjoying it...? We went back to the ship and found a quiet spot to read for the afternoon.
Then we had a last meal in the La Luna restaurant, served with steak by Epris and able to relax and watch the sea glide past through the window.
We ordered this gigantic banana split - 4 bananas, 6 scoops of Walls Carte D'Or vanilla ice cream, 4 chocolate twirly sticks, chocolate sauce, strawberries and cream. By heck!!! The average cruiser puts on a stone in a week. We were careful all week and put it on all in that one dessert! Tomorrow we fly back to England. And that's a sorry tale to come...
Tuesday, 5 May 2009. We were back onboard Ocean Village Two as she made her way down the Adriatic from Croatia towards Greece. Zakinthos is our port for tomorrow.
That night there was a show on the main pool deck with the acrobats and show team. The show opened with singer/guitarist Chris O'Leary - a lad after my own heart!
We were up there early to get a good spot against the rail on the top deck and there was a stiff breeze blowing which soon chilled us right down. "Don't worry, the captain will steer the ship round for the show so the wind won't be felt." He must have forgotten...
Laser beams were shooting out, writing "PLANET" - the name of the show - against the chimney stack of the ship. I always think lasers are more spectacular if you ignore what they are writing or drawing. It's the beam itself that's more spectacular. Then whilst the showteam sang their hearts out and danced about in futuristic costumes, the acrobats gave their performances on trapeze, cloth, swinging hoops and other apparatus way up there in the night sky on the 40 foot framework on top of the deck.
One wrong move and splash!... It was very spectacular - the acrobats were mainly from Colombia and they definitely have more nerve than I do!
By the end of the show my teeth were in danger of chattering and I had to wonder how the acrobats had managed in skimpy costumes and trying desperately to hang onto each other whilst dangling from a trapeze by their feet. "Sorry, love, I was cold..." wouldn't quite have cut it had one of them been catapulted over the side in the dark...
The acrobats deserved every bit of applause they got. I'd have been down from that iron framework like a shot, looking for a woolly jumper and a mug of mulled wine or something...
After the show there was an opportunity to have your photo taken with the cast. Ever the cheapskate, I took my own. I've no idea who the people in the middle are, but they looked to be enjoying themselves anyway!
We went down below and ended up in the casino. Fran loves playing the slot machines. It doesn't do a lot for me so I usually just sit and watch our money disappear! Anyway she was down to her last 10 tokens and the woman from the next machine moved. Fran gave me half the coins and I promptly won 72 pounds much to the disgust of the woman who had simply moved behind us... Sorry, dear, if you snooze, you lose...
Tuesday, 5 May 2009. Corfu. The excursionists are being transported by coach from monastery and museum, where we have been brow beaten into enduring the museum and a dreary commentary, then rushed round the gardens which were the best bit. We are mutinous. We are desperate. In the eyes of guide-i-poos we are obviously in need of culture and knowledge...
The coach arrives at Corfu town and pulls to a halt near a marvellous old fortress, set on a cliff and surrounded by a moat. Guide-i-poos sets us off at a brisk walk, her alsatians running round to keep the pack in some semblance of order. We walk away from the wonderful fortress without a word other than we will come back here for the coach. We walk past a large park about which we hear a lot, stopping in a huddle as the alsations growl and snap at ankles, pushing us into a tight group around our commandant... er... guide...
We are promised another church visit and a look at the old Colonial House, remnant of Britain when she was Great. There's a cricket pitch she wants us to see. I've seen one before and wasn't particularly thrilled then... Cricket has a lot in common with this tour - takes forever with brief bursts of interest set in a series of long boring interludes...
Wait! This could be her undoing! She's taking us through a couple of streets! We hang about until we reach the back of the group and... Yes! An opportunity! As the group carries on forwards, we suddenly make a run for it down a side street, fearfully looking over our shoulders, trying to mingle with locals and hoping they don't give us away!
We spend a bit of time exploring the streets and then head back towards the old fortress that I have been fancying trying to sketch.
The Old Fortress, for such is indeed its name, was built between the 6th and 19th centuries, presumably by workers whose supervisors were asleep most of the time... 1300 years to build... oh... I think they built a fortress and then it got added to every now and then! In fact even the island that it stands on is man made according to some sources, although frankly, looking at those cliffs I suspect what they mean is that it used to be part of the mainland and the moat was dug out to make it an island. That sounds just a bit more practical - or if they did make the island, that explains why it took 1300 years...
Anyway it was quite pleasant sitting there for half an hour, doing this sketch. There was a kiosk nearby selling drinks, so we we comfortable, there was sunshine, fresh air... and no droning about dates or long-forgotten Commanders of the castle.
I was quite happy doodling away until the sound of a whip cracking and the scraping of shuffling feet announced the return of guide-i-poos and her not-so-merry band of tourists. The coach took us back towards the ship. It took a while for all the passengers to get on board, stopping as they did to hug and weep over every officer and crew member near the gangway...
Tuesday, 5 May 2009 and we are on a coach excursion looking round Corfu. Guide-i-poos has shown herself to be a bit of a bore-i-poos. I'm not sure why it is that guides think that people on holiday have come for the sole purpose of learning historical dates and leave out any light heartedness they might be able to put into their spiel.
I'm sure that if I was a tour guide at the battle site in Hastings for instance I'd probably open with "It all started to go wrong for King Harold that day when he tried to get out of bed and got his foot stuck in the po..."
Anyway, after leaving the monastery, we have arrived at a small beach - the cove that I noticed from the coach window on the outward trip - and have 20 minutes for a drink - very welcome as it was a hot day.
The scenery is stunning and I could have quite happily - despite not liking beach holidays - have settled down with a good book and an occasional look up.
It's a sad reflection of an excursion when you think that the most enjoyable bit was a 20 minutes stop for free time away from the guide so you can have a drink...
There's a lazy feel to this place, with the sun seekers in swimwear and the row of boats whose owners are sheltering under their awnings and passing the time chatting to each other.
But alas we were shepherded onto the coach again and driven to the Palace of Achilleion.
This had been built by Empress of Austria, Elisabeth of Bavaria, also known as Sissi.
Her statue stands by the main doorway. Sissi used to visit the place often until 1898 when she was assassinated in Geneva by Italian anarchist Luigi Lucheni - a man who killed her just for the purpose of becoming famous. After Sissi's death, German Kaiser Wilhelm II purchased Achilleion in 1907 and used it as a summer residence. The place is now a museum.
"Oh my God, I don't want to go round a museum - can we not just go round the gardens?" a rather exasperated voice chirped up from the middle of the crowd. Guide-i-poos looked affronted and drew herself up to her full three foot six...
"We will come to the gardens at the end of the museum!" she said in a tone of voice that brooked no argument. She could have just said "Yep - they're that way..." but she obviously wasn't having any insubordination in class! So the disgruntled member of our little band followed us in and glared at me as I shrugged in sympathy.
"Is it just me?" he asked.
"Nope," I said, "I'd have been right behind you!"
Unfortunately we were both proved right. In each room even where there were only three sticks of furniture she talked for a good ten minutes about stuff that wasn't even remotely interesting or relevant to us. The only bit I liked was the Kaiser's memorabilia - and we all know what happened to him...
Eventually though, we did come out into the gardens. Guide-i-poos was lamenting we couldn't visit the upstairs rooms, but thank Heavens for small mercies... The gardens were dominated by this huge statue of Achilles, watching the horizon for enemies - he should have looked down at his feet and swatted guide-i-poos with his shield - whilst we and the other rebel wandered off as far from the rest of the group as we could get.
Apparently this was the setting for the casino scene in the James Bond film For Your Eyes Only. However, that is apparently the record holder for the least-watched James Bond film and I certainly didn't recognise anywhere.
We went to get an ice cream up the road and plotted to break free of the tour at our earliest opportunity...
