5 June 2025. Woke up last night with what sounded like furniture falling over in the adjoining ward. Then a lot of shouting. At first I thought someone had either fallen out of bed or had knocked something over but then someone stormed down the corridor and our night nurses ran to the door of our ward shouting, "Don't let him in here!"
I was told later that a patient had gone berserk and had flung one of those over-the-bed tables, hitting another patient. Whilst security and male nurses had tried to restrain him, he was military trained and it got a bit dicey for a while.
So I spent much of this morning asleep and spent the afternoon doing this. After tea my legs were redressed. The change is amazing. Yes I've lost a lot of flesh - veins standing out but far fewer wounds. Unfortunately one on each leg keeps pain levels up. Meanwhile Miss Franny collected my new glasses and brought them in.
6 June 2025. Last night's tale of mayhem... Just after lights out the same chap in the next ward kicked off. Shouting, banging, security racing up the corridor. Then after it had quietened down again the chap in the next bed ripped out his catheter at 4.30. Took them until 6.00 to deal with it, blood everywhere and of course this is the chap that shouts a lot if touched... so an hour and half of shouting and screaming and not letting the nurses help him.
By the time he went quiet they were doing the morning pill run so that was that. We were all up having to listen to The Swearer telling the nursing staff to f... off. And they tell me he knows what he is doing, he doesn't have any dementia. Just a horrible horrible man.
The Physio team and someone from the Delicate Tissue Team came in the afternoon to try getting me out of bed again. I lasted longer sitting on the side of the bed this time but then as in previous tries the pain hit and my legs just started bleeding.
The back of my calves look like one of those maps of the arterial and veinous systems that you might see on the wall in a doctor's consulting room. The flesh has withered so much the veins stand proud. They said they would come up with a plan to help the tissue of my legs to grow back but agreed that until that happened I would have to stay in hospital. I asked how long this would take. "One year give or take a month or two... So shock hit immediately. The nurses who were with her both stared at her in shock, never mind me. It took me a while to even process that. I am determined to beat this thing but being told that out of the blue and then wondering how to tell family etc was a blow.
Some hours later came a bit of light relief. I had had my left leg redressed. Half an hour later my lovely staff nurse from the Phillipines came round searching for a lost key. Lifting my bedcovers at the feet end she stared diligently between my legs. "Searching for treasure?" I asked. And she found it!
8 June 2025. Ok, so after all the trauma I caused yesterday - 71 messages of support came at me on Facebook, people are wonderful - it seems as though she may have meant something else. Though the two physios and a couple of nurses also thought exactly the same as I did. We now think she meant that's how long it will take the ulcers to heal. From when they started which was over a few weeks from last August. So that is a much less stressful thing to contemplate.
Having seen them and comparing the pain over the past few days that would seem to be a realistic target and not one that would require a full year in hospital. It's driving me daft already and it's been just about one month.
The main problem now is to regain lost flesh on the back of my calves. Veins etc standing out and rupturing if lower legs go vertical, ruling out standing, or sitting as yet. Not to mention the pain that goes through the roof. And I'm no wimp. The nurse redressing them yesterday said she couldn't understand how I bore her cleaning and placing fresh dressings without any shouting or screaming.
So relief on the possible length of stay. It may still be measured in months but that's better than being told a year and seeing the same shock on the faces of everyone else. I had accepted it as having no real choice anyway. I'll beat this no matter how long it takes, with the support of family and all my awesomely wonderful army of friends on Facebook. You matter and you do without fail raise my spirits. So thank you and sorry for yesterday's shock.
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