Hospitalised

4 April 2025. I'm now on twice weekly visits to the District Nurses. Unfortunately the right leg has decided that it's fed up as being described as the better leg and has burst out in sores mostly on the right side of the lower leg. It's getting almost impossible to sleep in bed and I've now moved a desk typists' chair into the bedroom with legs supported on a pile of pillows. Even so there are nights when I get no sleep at all and the best I can hope for is three hours or so.

The nurses have suggested I need some nerve pain pills and so I am now on both Gabapentin for nerve pain and the middle strength of Codeine backed up by Paracetamol for any other pains that me think I'm ripe for a bit of suffering. Because I'm getting so little sleep at night I am inclined to just fall asleep, chin on chest at my desk, or whilst watching TV or at any time at all really...

22 April 2025. From a Facebook posting: District Nurses in an hour or so but have run out of pain meds again over Easter. They give me 12.5 days worth but won't action repeat requests for 13 days due to "rules". Given that it can then be a couple of days before a request is actioned to the chemist and the chemist is closed on Saturdays (and it's Easter so make that Friday to Monday)... So have been on over the counter meds for a few days and it's not cutting it. I asked why they had rules that they knew would leave a gap in supply and was told - I kid you not - "We hope you won't need to take them all..."

Wednesday 14 May 2025. Disaster strikes. The exhaustion over the past few weeks has been almost crippling. I can't concentrate on anything, can't go out and last Saturday night I had a fall going upstairs to bed. I'm not really sure what happened. I just registered that my hand was slipping on the bannister and then next instant woke with the sensation of falling, leaned forward just in time for my chest to crash into the corner of a step in front of me. I don't know whether I blacked out or simply went to sleep whilst climbing up the stairs but anyway once I came to properly and was able to decide that although the chest hurt I hadn't broken any ribs, I tried to stand and couldn't.

There was just no strength in my legs. I had to shuffle down to the bottom of the staircase on my front until I was lying at the foot of the stairs. I still couldn't stand up even with Fran trying to support me under my arm. Our dining chairs have backs with horizontal slats of wood like a ladder. I asked her to bring one and tried to climb up it with my hands, but I just couldn't move my legs at all. I managed to shuffle like a worm into the living room and sat on the floor with my back against the sofa. We discussed whether to call an ambulance but at this time they were queued outside the hospital,even those with blue emergency lights flashing, for up to eight hours before patients were assessed.

Anyway it was Monday morning when I got an ambulance and more or less the first thing I was treated to in hospital was the sight of a "patient" being rugby tackled to the ground by a policeman after trying to escape the police during being seen to by a doctor... By the time they had assessed me, either spinal compression or a broken hip were suspected so I ended up on a ward with no idea how long I'd be there.

Thursday 15 May 2025. My Facebook post to friends telling them where I was generated such a rush of warmth and concern and love in 64 responses that I was quite humbled. Yes, I know - hard to believe, but it's true - even I can be humble when I need to! I hadn't been allowed out of bed yet (and don't yet think it possible) pending x-rays and scans of my back and legs...

Friday 23 May 2025. Still here in hospital. Bloody fed up. I've picked up an infection from somewhere so I have been moved into a side room all on my own but still allowed visitors thank God. I seem to have achieved rock god status amongst the staff here due to them asking a routine "What did you used to do?" and then being shown photos and videos on my phone... Legs still a mess of pain. The state of my left leg is shown below... Skip quickly down if you're squeamish...

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Just before I was moved into this side room one night it was getting towards lights out and a chap from the other end of the ward, who you would just take for the most inoffensive compliant patient just walked up the ward towards the double doors at the end of the ward next to my bed. As he reached for the door I called out in concern, "[NAME] that's the Ladies' Ward..."

But I had mistaken the target of his outstretched arm.

He put both thumbs on the fire alarm glass and deliberately pushed hard, breaking the glass. Then he turned to go back to bed as though it was the most natural thing to do. The ward was suddenly filled with nurses, orderlies and doctors ready to push beds to safety, but were quickly told what had happened and the culprit was whisked away down the corridor being scolded. The look on his face though showed he either just didn't care or didn't undertand what he had done.

The rest of us though had a troubled night as patients with dementia were very frightened by what had happened and were calling for family who were not there or were trying to get up to run for safety and who were in danger of falling.

Thursday 29 May 2025. I am still in the side room. My legs seem to be slowly improving after lots of antibiotics and some awful pain. I have not yet been able to stand or get out of bed and being moved to go for scans etc involved a lot of pain from my back as they move me from bed to a trolley and then from trolley to the bed of a scanner.

I have increased my total count of MRI scans to around 18 or 19, spine, neck, hips, head, brain... I think they found one... Have been told I should be in here another week, so there's light at the end of the tunnel. (Not much light as it turned out - they simply meant another week in the side room...)

Later on the same day... Blooming typical... just been put on a bedpan and fire alarm goes off....

Family Memories: Personal Index