Portofino, the Millionaires' Playground

Friday, 25 September 2026. One of the highly anticipated days of our cruise. We are in Portofino and, as the ship is anchored off the port, we are tendering directly into Portofino with no need for a costly tour involving a ferry from nearby Santa Margherita.

One of just a handful of spots along the north shore of the Mediterranean Sea where the millionaires and A-listers flock, Portofino is a gorgeous tiny harbour with a curving access lined with pleasing coloured hotels, shops and villas clustered around a tiny space beore the land rises steeply to the truly magnificent and expensive properties on the hillsides from which those superstars rarely emerge before at least noon.

Luckily I can be up early mornings because at best I'm a K-lister (sold CDs around the world but in laughably small numbers, played on numerous ships from the Caribbean to the Greek Islands, been on TV and radio and also known for this blog which currently gets around 5k hits daily). Not exactly an influencer but not bad for a pensioner content creator...

Here you get an idea of the curved aspect of the approach into the harbour as witnessed by the buildings to the right of the photograph. The empty bay is where the ferries from nearby Santa Marguerita dock.

Between the ferry dock and that which we have just arrived at is a large bay devoted to the modest little motor yachts of the rich whether famous or not.

I'm in two minds about fame. I've had people come up to me in airports to say how much they enjoyed my singing on various cruise ships and once got recognised in a crowd of 12,000 people waiting to be admitted to an Andre Rieue concert and I always enjoyed it in such moderation but I imagine it must be a bit galling when you are constantly interrupted by fans in restaurants or whilst out with your family.

I think I've only ever been asked for an autograph twice, so I must be doing a good job of remaining relatively anonymous...

The last time we were here, we enjoyed a wonderful gelato at a table outside a cafe but this time we found it gone. A small kiosk nearby but without any tables and chairs carried the same name and was selling cones but we were ready for a sit down and found a place on the opposite side of the harbour.

Their gelatos were a bit more like sorbet but just as welcome and a limonata went down very well.

Then a sit on a bench on the edge of the harbour and relax...

Miss Franny woke me when I started to snore and I woke with a start, staring wildly around at the empty space where surely just a minute ago all the autograph hunters had been waiting patiently...

"Dream on..." said Miss Franny tolerantly, upon which instruction I closed my eyes again only to find an elbow in my ribs...

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We Stay Aboard Ship

Wednesday, 23 September 2026. We are in Civitavecchia, Italy today with a bit of disappointment. We were due to go for a coach ride around the sights of Rome, but only four people had opted for that option so the excursion had been cancelled. Unable to walk very far - as I found out in Taormina - walking through a large city like Rome would not have been possible for me so sadly we are onboard for the day.

Civitavecchia is not a tourist port. It serves as the gateway for Rome which can be reached by coach or train, the journey either way taking several hours, but the only bit of interest along the seafront is this statue based on the famous end of World War II photo of a returning American sailor kissing a girl in Times Square. This photograph was taken in 2013 on another cruise.

We had, then, already been kicked out of the local fortress as it was now the offices of the port customs and we were asked to leave...

Sitting in Baristas coffee bar in the morning MSC Grandiosa sails out past us. There is something grotesque to my mind of a ship so large. They cannot sail into smaller ports which are often far more interesting than the larger ones and they carry so many passengers that not only is there little chance of running again into someone you have struck up a conversation with at dinner, but the strain they put on local services like coach firms and popular destinations make it a nightmare trying to see some famous sights for the number of people standing in front of them.

There was something about this ship that took us a while to get to grips with which lifts to use. Here we have emerged at twilight onto the deck above the Pool Deck on our way to Horizons Bar to spend the night listening to Tomas and Maris singing.

You get the most beautiful sunsets at sea. As the sun sinks beneath the horizon the whole sky can turn a vivid gradient from blue to orange and red. Sadly we have just missed that moment but instead have the aftermath of darker shades.

Looking back at the Pool Deck below us. A touch cool now for anyone to be swimming. Onboard pools are usually closed by long before this time anyway. Staff have a natural aversion to finding floating corpses of last night's drunks as they open up and clean the pools each morning...

Thursday, 24 September 2026. This was taken the following night. We had just left the port of Porto Cervo, Olbia, Sardinia. It's very strange really but I have no recollection of this day at all. We must have gone there because otherwise something noteworthy would have happened. So we must have stayed on the ship doing something or other until it was time to head to Horizons in the evening to catch Tom and Maris - as my only photo of the day shows! Weird...

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Return To Sorrento, 2026

Tuesday 22 September 2026. We are at anchor off the cliffs of Sorrento. Across the Bay of Naples is the familar sight of Vesuvius. We always remember our visit in 2014 when gazing at the same view before breakfast a fellow passenger said slowly, as if it took great thought... "You know, that looks a bit like a volcano, doesn't it?" We laugh about it every time Vesuvius, Pompeii, Naples or Sorrento ever crop up in a conversation...

Anyway, Vesuvius isn't going to feature greatly in today's plans as we are looking forward to just catching a tender boat to Sorrento, having a wander along the colourful narrow streets of shops and a drink (sadly non-alcoholic). I do miss being able to sip at an Aperol aperatif in Italy. We won't be bringing a bottle of Limoncello back with us either this year!

But we do make for the little cafe named for Belgium's Mannekin Pis that we have visited several times in the past. The waitress has a rather familiar accent... she was from Leeds!

Most Italian towns have fabulous displays of pottery and Sorrento is no different. There are lots of Chinese girls wandering about in groups dressed in long flowing layered skirts and dresses.

The non-alcoholic drink of choice this holiday is a cloudy lemonade with a splash of orange syrup. Very refreshing and, let's face it, those weather-beaten features need all the refreshing they can get...

Then we carry on along the narrow street until the shopy peter out and so we turn to head back to the cliff tops above the harbour. I don't know whether people take one look and then feel sorry for me, but I always find it very easy to fall into conversation with people on holiday.

Having found a space to sit on a bench I chat with a couple from Garstang, just a few miles from our home, who are staying a short distance along the cliffs at San Agnello where we had stayed with my mother in 2005. They were replaced by an American couple from our ship.

We fell into many such conversations with our fellow cruisers from across the pond. I was careful (and so were they) to avoid any mention of Donald but from reading between the lines I don't think we met anyone in favour of him as any talk about conditions back home was about rising prices and axed services.

Once back onboard, we caught up with Tom and Maris as they performed on the Pool Deck and went in search of some lunch. As far as eating went on the ship, we used the buffet for breakfast and lunch and then every night but one went into the Main Dining Room for our evening meal and a bit of outrageous flirting with the young lady who was greeting and directing waiters to take us to our table.

We always say (well Miss Franny does and usually in a resigned tone) "Once seen, never forgotten..." and by just the second night I was greeted by name and we were placed on a table next to a window, which agreeable treatment became a nightly feature. We tried one of the speciality dining rooms one night but be patient and it will feature sooner or later...

That afternoon we made our way to Baristas coffee bar and I found a table near enough to the window that I could so this pencil sketch of the coast and Sorrento. Apparently once again this gathered an audience but as they mostly stayed behind me I was totally unaware of them until Miss Franny told me later.

This was slightly tricky as the window only gave me a narrow view and each side had to be done as the ship swung that way at anchor. I'd usually get to a tricky point and the subject would disappear behind the side of the window...

That night we were sitting in the Horizons bar, listening to Tom and Maris when an American lady came up to me and said "Oh, we have so much in common!" I must have looked a little non-plussed as her husband bent down to my ear and said, "Don't worry - she frightens me too sometimes...!" They went to sit at a table a little way away and after a while I went over and said, "I'm intruiged, what do we have in common?"

They were from Seattle and were a lovely couple who we had a little chat with every time we came across them. If you get to read this by any chance, guys, please do feel free to get in touch!

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Cruising Trieste to Athens on the NCL Pearl, 19-28 August 2024

Join us for a nine-day cruise on the Norwegian Cruise Lines' ship NCL Pearl, starting at Trieste and ending at Athens, sailing down the Adriatic Sea. After five years of not cruising because of Covid and cancer we at last manage to catch up with entertainer friends Tomas and Maris!

Each day is shown on its own separate entry, reached by clicking/tapping the seven photos below. A link on each page will bring you back here.

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Norwegian Pearl Cruise Down The Adriatic

Monday 19 August 2024. Our first cruise for five years. First one with the Norwegian Cruise Line and therefore our first on the Norwegian Pearl cruise ship. First one since I had had to start using a walking stick and the first one since being diagnosed with cancer two and a half years ago. But enough with the grotty side of things - it's our first meeting since 2019 with Tomas and Maris, the entertainers we first met fourteen years ago on Marella ships (they were still Thomson then!) and with whom I've shared a stage so many times in the past.

But let's not jump ahead too soon. It's also our first flights for five years and they come first. We are joining the ship at Trieste in Italy and to get there we have to fly from Manchester UK to Munich in Germany, transfer to a flight from Munich to Venice and then a bus ride to Trieste.

At Munich and with no-one to ask we followed the signs, passed through passport control and found ourselves surrounded by opaque white glass walls with a staircase leading down and a lift with an aircrew member getting into it. He stepped into the lift before we could ask any questions so we followed him in which turned out to be the wrong move... It took us to the Departures section meaning we had to go once more through security - long queue and flight leaving in just 20 minutes.

In retrospect I reckon that some of the panels in the white glass may have been sliding doors but there were no signs to help. Luckily the aircraft from Munich to Venice was delayed and we made it, though not without a few stressful moments! Once at Venice our luggage turned up eventually and we found people to direct us to the busses for a bus ride to Trieste.

Onto the ship with relief and ready and raring for a coffee. We had a nice cabin (9522 on Deck 9) with a balcony and a bed made up of two generously-sized singles pushed together. We unpacked, shoved stuff quickly into drawers and wardrobes and went in search of a drink.

We found the Rose Garden buffet restaurant on Deck 12 which was the pool deck. Staff at the entrances stand by ready to squirt you with hand gel - "Washee washee!" came a regular cry as people walked in.

Later we found Tom and Maris already playing in Magnums bar. It was an emotional reunion, Maris had started dabbing at her eyes from first seeing us and we all exchanged hugs and kisses. You form deep attachments to fellow musicians you work with. It was disappointing that I couldn't join them on stage. My voice just won't stand up to it after years of inaction, and probably neither would my back...

Tuesday 20 August 2024. Overnight we have sailed from Trieste to Ravenna. From here trips are going to Venice, but having done it so many times and being on a new ship, we decide not to join the inevitable crowds and instead take ourselves for a tour of the ship. As you can see there is a bit of rain coming. It ends up being very light and only lasts a couple of minutes before the sun comes out again.

This is the Pool Deck on Deck 12 as seen from Deck 13. There's a jogging track on Deck 13 running around the top of the ship. The joggers must be as tired as we are though... Through the doors at the far end are the spa on the right and through the doors on the left the fitness centre, which we didn't trouble at all during our cruise. I did treat myself to a head, neck and back massage one day though as I developed a sore neck, probably because in all the bars the seating was at right angles to the stage, meaning you had to sit with your head turned all the time to watch the artists.

The red stripe is the jogging track with a one-way system that most people seemed to ignore completely. Fran had run out of black counters so stood hopefully on the corner spot waiting to be crowned...

The Ievoli Shine is an oil/chemical tanker built in 1998 in Livorno, Italy for Marnavi Spa of Naples. Ravenna may have had a beach on one side of us, but the other side looked quite industrial as are so many ports used by the larger cruise ships. The smaller cruise ships are fast disappearing I'm afraid.

The Summer Palace restaurant at the rear of Deck 6. We never actually ate in there, but had a couple of meals in the adjacent Indigo Dining restaurant which shared the same menu.

Another view of the Summer Palace restaurant. Both this and Indigo were waiter service restaurants.

Back on Deck 12 where we spent quite a bit of time during afternoons either when we had stayed onboard or after we had returned from an outing. I did several sketches from there which got quite a bit of interest from both crew and fellow passengers.

The now ancient and decrepit old soul that encloses the young vibrant witless (sorry..."witty", I meant "witty") inner being still trying desperately to break out every now and then.

Walking with a stick is very limiting too. In a buffet restaurant not only can you only carry one plate at a time but you can only hold one side of it so that any tremor of the hand sets it wobbling and threatening to flick food over anyone passing. Well, yes... it has its lighter sides too! It also means I leave the camera at home these days and make do with my phone. Which is subject to much the same wobble potential. Hence there won't be the hundreds of photos that I was accustomed to take during the course of a cruise. But it's a nine-day cruise so sit back and wait for the next episodes to come.

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Lake Garda and Northern Italy, 2003

A series of articles about our first visit to Lake Garda in northern Italy. Staying at Riva del Garda, we would travel around the lake to various towns, visit both Venice and Verona, ride ferries down the lake, a tram in Renon and cable cars in the Dolomite mountains.

Clicking or tapping the photos below will take you to each of the articles. A link on each page will bring you back here.

Holidays Outside the UK - Index Page