Portofino, the Millionaires' Playground

Friday, 25 September 2026. One of the highly anticipated days of our cruise. We are in Portofino and, as the ship is anchored off the port, we are tendering directly into Portofino with no need for a costly tour involving a ferry from nearby Santa Margherita.

One of just a handful of spots along the north shore of the Mediterranean Sea where the millionaires and A-listers flock, Portofino is a gorgeous tiny harbour with a curving access lined with pleasing coloured hotels, shops and villas clustered around a tiny space beore the land rises steeply to the truly magnificent and expensive properties on the hillsides from which those superstars rarely emerge before at least noon.

Luckily I can be up early mornings because at best I'm a K-lister (sold CDs around the world but in laughably small numbers, played on numerous ships from the Caribbean to the Greek Islands, been on TV and radio and also known for this blog which currently gets around 5k hits daily). Not exactly an influencer but not bad for a pensioner content creator...

Here you get an idea of the curved aspect of the approach into the harbour as witnessed by the buildings to the right of the photograph. The empty bay is where the ferries from nearby Santa Marguerita dock.

Between the ferry dock and that which we have just arrived at is a large bay devoted to the modest little motor yachts of the rich whether famous or not.

I'm in two minds about fame. I've had people come up to me in airports to say how much they enjoyed my singing on various cruise ships and once got recognised in a crowd of 12,000 people waiting to be admitted to an Andre Rieue concert and I always enjoyed it in such moderation but I imagine it must be a bit galling when you are constantly interrupted by fans in restaurants or whilst out with your family.

I think I've only ever been asked for an autograph twice, so I must be doing a good job of remaining relatively anonymous...

The last time we were here, we enjoyed a wonderful gelato at a table outside a cafe but this time we found it gone. A small kiosk nearby but without any tables and chairs carried the same name and was selling cones but we were ready for a sit down and found a place on the opposite side of the harbour.

Their gelatos were a bit more like sorbet but just as welcome and a limonata went down very well.

Then a sit on a bench on the edge of the harbour and relax...

Miss Franny woke me when I started to snore and I woke with a start, staring wildly around at the empty space where surely just a minute ago all the autograph hunters had been waiting patiently...

"Dream on..." said Miss Franny tolerantly, upon which instruction I closed my eyes again only to find an elbow in my ribs...

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Hidden Gems Cruise - Portofino, Italy

Saturday, 21 September 2019. If you have been following these articles in order you will know that, having disembarked in Santa Margherita, we are now on a ferry heading for the Italian town of Portofino.

This part of Italy has a beautiful coastline and that chap from Steps has certainly done well for himself, well done that man!

The ferry trip from Santa Margherita has taken around half an hour and there was always something to see along the way.

We are now approaching Portofino harbour. Why don't I live somewhere like this? It's beautiful.

First glimpse of Portofino. The ferry is now creeping in very slowly.

Ah yes, perhaps because the Italian skipper has noticed a lady in purple lingerie lingering on her balcony... I think she shouted out at one point, "Ready when you are, John!" but I couldn't be sure as her words were drowned out by the buzz of noise in the harbour and the sound of Miss Franny's slap to the back of my head...

There's a few people here already. The ferry that we were following has just landed and is disgorging a lot more people to join them. The famous view of this place is from a high viewpoint somewhere behind my left shoulder. I pondered quite a bit before deciding not to bring my sketchbook today, but I suspected that there might not be time to do a sketch (I was right about that) and that it may be difficult to find somewhere to sit with a good view. (I was right about that too...)

The ferry in front of us is still disgorging passengers as we dock behind her - you can see her in the bottom left corner. As we start to get off, the available paved area to the left of the photo becomes one huge pressed mass of people all shuffling together towards the back of the harbour. We weren't taking chances. We found our guide, asked where and when to meet and left the tour to its own devices straight away.

They all disappeared up the hill to the left of the harbour as seen from the sea. This would take them to the viewpoint I mentioned earlier. We headed past this very tempting gelateria (ice cream café and whenever in Italy you should try one and I don't mean a cone!)

Carrying on in a straight line we came to a street of shops. The white lacy dresses are gorgeous but need someone with the figure and a certain amount of poise and confidence to wear them to full effect. Imagine one on that neighbour who comes out scowling in her dressing gown in the middle of the day to empty her teapot over the weeds in the garden and you see what I mean...

Towards the top of the hill we come to the coast road, a police station and taxi rank and we about-turn to go back down.

The call of the gelateria is just too much. A couple get up to leave the crowded tables and we take their place. Bar Gelateria San Georgio. St George has a church here, though as far as I know he never came here. He was a tribune in the Roman army (a rank roughly that of colonel). At the start of the Persecution of Christians he protested to the Emperor about their treatment, was arrested, tortured and beheaded. The Emperor's wife, Alexandria, was so impressed that she too became a Christian and was also arrested and put to death...

Strange the things that go through your mind whilst waiting for your strawberries, ice cream and fresh cream with a glass of lemonade... Anyway, if St George didn't live here, then Richard the Lionheart, King of England certainly did in 1190. So also did Rex Harrison the actor, but I don't think they ever met...

As we got up from our table two other passengers from the Marella Dream were waiting to take our place. They told us that the famous view of Portofino was up the hill and pointed out the road. "It's very steep and was very crowded, but well worth it," they said. They had gone up with all the tour guides from our ferry and any passengers from the one in front that were keen to see the view.

The narrow street certainly was steep, but not quite as crowded now that the tours had been and gone.

In fact it was quite a pleasant climb up with several touristy shops to look at along the way.

Not quite at the top but already the view is promising, though seen over a grubby green roof!

At the top, the view looking the other way is also quite spectacular and a lot more natural!

The Church of St George at the top of the hill. The best views are from that short length of railing near the church where all the people are and it would most certainly have been difficult to get a good viewpoint with all the people from the tours had we stayed with the excursion guide.

So without further ado, here is the famous view that we have all been waiting for. At some point I will attempt a sketch or painting from my photos - don't worry, you'll get to see it. (If it turns out ok...)

A little further down the hill you get a view looking into the harbour.

I noticed the marble steps leading up to a villa and the startling red flowers in pots.

I couldn't resist sneaking up the first few steps to get this shot.

We stop at the shops on the way down, but then once we get to the bottom we have a bit of time left to walk along the far side of the harbour where we buy... a fridge magnet... We join the rest of our tour who have had a mere half hour of free time and are now looking round worriedly for the guide, who is standing in a different place than she had told us all...

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