Relief at Last

No... not anything to do with the Siege of Mafeking, or shift work or massage parlours...

After 3 days of hell, the midge bites sustained during the garden party gig on Saturday are at last starting to go down! Phew!!!

The things are voracious! Whilst looking for ways of reducing the appalling itching I came across loads of surreal (and useless) tips. Dabbing toothpaste on them looks unsightly (minus one point) but does make your arm smell minty (plus one point) but does absolutely zilch to stop the itching (minus one million points...).

Also there was a mix of "use a mild acid like vinegar" and "use an alkaline like baking soda" - come on, make your minds up!

Then the really surreal ones - "Put an elastic band around the arm and snap it onto the affected area" huh? It went on to say, "...however the pain of this may not be preferable to the itching!". Well thanks for nothing! Minus two million points...

In the end I went into Boots for some antihistamines. The bloke ahead of me in the queue insisted on showing the assistant a couple of spots and whining how painful they were. I have at least 50 of the bloody things and was on the point of snorting at him when he finally decided to take the assistant's advice.

She looked at my arm as I asked for the same stuff and held out the money. "Now that does look like something to whinge about..." she commented.

Apparently it's only pregnant females that bite you but then are so overcome at your kindness in giving up a miniscule amount of blood that they immediately send out a signal to all other pregnant females who swarm around you and dive in for a snack.

And if you are playing guitar at the time it's not easy to brush them away or move yourself out of their vicinity!