The Christmas Aftermath

"We're not eating up fast enough!"

"Wha...?" I spluttered, unwrapping my umpteenth choccy of the night.

"We're not eating up fast enough! There's tins all over the place!"

Indeed there are, when I look. Miss Franny has announced her decision to take down the Christmas decorations today when she finishes work. Under the tree, there sit two as yet unopened tins of biscuits. I open one to run a critical eye over the contents.

"I'm not sure if I fancy this one..." I say around the next sweet, trying to defend my lack of progress. "That hasn't even got chocolate on it!" I point accusingly.

"You've not touched those jam tarts I made for the last couple of days - do you not want them?" Whoa - no-win situation arising...

"And what about the mince pies? I bought you some brandy cream to go with them!"

I look down at the space where the carpet should be, but instead see the front of my jumper...

"I'll get round to them..." I trail off miserably.

"Well don't go gorging yourself on sweet stuff all the time - there's loads of special cheeses in the fridge."

"I don't seem to be hungry enough to get round to those yet..." I waver.

"And don't forget the fruit either...it's good for you!"

If I seem to be talking and moving slowly and carefully over the next few weeks...