Wednesday, 30 December 2015

Film Review, November 1977 Issue

Here we are again, the future potential of articles set in 1977 are dwindling fast for here we are at the penultimate issue of Film Review for the year.

This month features Peter Fonda singing into a somewhat Sellotaped microphone from the film Outlaw Blues.

On the inside front cover Bacardi Rum is once again pointing out that no one under millionaire status should be thinking of drinking it as The Man From Uncle's sister leans over the back of the boat that her partner named for her. Meanwhile he maintains a tight grip on his rod whilst the hired hand who is driving the boat above them is the one guzzling down the Bacardi and wanting to get home for tea...

On the contents page the hype for the forthcoming very-first-but-to-be-relegated-to-fourth Star Wars film (no hope deemed necessary) sets into motion as robot C3-PO leaves his footmarks in cement in Hollywood. "I've just poured that!!!" screamed the driver of the cement truck...

Once started, the onslaught of blockbuster films is taking on landslide proportions. Marlon Brando and Susannah York bounce their Super-Baby prior to blowing up with the rest of planet Krypton.

Perhaps a little more lucky - though not to be guessed from his expression - Oliver Reed bounces actress Judy Buxton on his knee as they prepare to shoot Michael Winner's remake of The Big Sleep.

Oh I love this! We've not seen an advert for hi-fi equipment in Film Review up to now, but this Pioneer stacking system has everything a music lover could want. Reel-to-reel tape deck, a cassette deck, FM stereo radio receiver and a high-fidelity amplifier at the bottom. Wait...! Hang on...! Oh no! They've forgotten a record player! Doh!!! Almost as funny as their description of this as a "professional rack"...

The real-life event of Israeli commandos storming Uganda's Entebbe Airport to rescue hostages from a hijacked Air France 707 flight had already been filmed twice by Hollywood but Operation Thunderbolt (the actual code name for the Israeli raid) was the Israelis' own version of the tale.

In the photo, the terrorists, played by Sybil Danning and Klaus Kinsky, unscrew their false champagne bottles to reveal they carry grenades.

Some 27 years later I was introduced to Sybil Danning by a mutual friend and spent a delightful quarter of an hour in conversation with this witty and very sexy lady before Miss Franny grasped me lovingly by the ear and dragged me away...

The full-page glamour photo for this issue features the delectable Barbara Carrere, then appearing in The Island of Dr Moreau with Burt Lancaster and Michael York.

It really is true... You do have to be a millionaire with a yacht or boat to drink spirits!

"How many times must I tell you, R2? I can't cross this corridor because my feet are stuck in the cement!"

"Stand by for Star Wars the biggest film hit ever" shrieks the title of a two-page spread. Faced with a cast of relative unknowns, the article focusses closest on Peter Cushing's role as Moff Tarkin - in actual fact a fairly minor part as far as things go.

John Beck and Susan Sarandon star in The Other Side Of Midnight. This is described as marking the "return of the romantic melodrama" though the article goes on to quote the two leading actresses - Susan Sarandon saying "If tastefully done, I'm not against nudity... You can say sex plays a prime role in the development of the characters" whilst Marie-France Pisier who plays the scheming mistress of Beck's character who together plot the demise of his wife (Sarandon) says endearingly: "When nudity is important in the scene... I am willing to do it. And if men want to look at me with sensuality in their eyes, so be it." Darn - I never saw this film!

Our cosmetics advert from this issue shows Queens Park Rangers and England Under-23 goalkeeper Phil Parkes who has sprayed his hair with Cossack Hairspray. Good man, him... The mounted cossack waving his sword on the can could easily be mistaken for a polo player with the end dropped off his mallet and a helmet over his mullet.

As it's the November issue the articles celebrating the 50th anniversary of sound films will also soon end and this time it is the turn of horror films to undergo the retrospection. This is Laura La Plante about to have a rather disturbing moment in The Cat And The Canary. No less than five cinema versions have been made with this title and this 1927 version is the third, but the first with sound. This tale of an heiress who will only inherit if she is sane, thus prompting the rest of her family to drive her nuts, was hilariously remade in 1939 starring Bob Hope and Paulette Goddard.

Boris Karloff is also pictured from the 1933 Frankenstein. As every film buff knows, Karloff played the monster. Frankenstein was the scientist who created him.

A drop of the old Southern Comfort on the back cover brings this issue to an end, dispelling the myth that you need a boat to enjoy a glass of spirits though sadly, even here, the possession of a large wallet would still help.

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